When does sex define a relationship?

Sex never really defines a relationship. There are so many other elements that need to be met, way before the sex should take precedence in the daily routine. 

I believe this generation is so stuck on feeding their body sexual pleasure, that they miss out on what truly matters. Sure not everyone is focused on love, and being in a relationship. But the bottom line is, no matter what kind of sex you're having, you're in an energy exchange, whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not.

Often times, people come to me for counseling when they're having a rough time in their relationship, and usually the sex has greatly diminished. One thing I have learned is that, when two people are in a huge misalignment, the sex will suffer. 

Interestingly enough though, the converse is not true. Just because two people can have amazing sex, does not mean they are meant for each other, or that things are going good.

In actuality, often times, the best sex, is also the most toxic. The sexual gratification is being met, while the mental sanity is being cut into tiny little pieces. So the 'great sex' is actually just an illusion. Usually people are just filling voids, which is why your thirst has to be continuously replenished. It will turn into a drug, and like any drug, you will continue to keep chasing the first high, that first hit. Continuously chasing a high you will never ever achieve. 

With the knowledge of that, one can believe that sex is very important to a relationship's success. Really it isn't. Sure it's important to have a partner that's at least on your wavelength of desires, passion, intimacy, freakiness, and overall basic desires of hygiene, and interest, but beyond that, it's really about your connection.

If we took the time to really get to know people before we jumped into sex, we would realize that we don't really like them. Sex can blind you. It's wise to sit back, and allow people to show you who they really are, and then, and only then, can you assess the situation as status quo. 

Never go into a relationship with a void, and don't settle for less than you feel you deserve. Sex in a long relationship may get redundant, and seem like a chore, that's when you need to spice it up and make it fun again!

 I have so many tutorials, lessons, and therapy sessions designed for couples and singles alike to get the most out of there sex life. It's not so much about the action, but about the desire to please each other's soul, even when sex isn't involved!

-Satin Sanchez



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